


maybe we're free falling

by B2Min



Series: The tiger and the turtle [1]
Category: NU'EST
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B2Min/pseuds/B2Min
Summary: Random drabbles from the 'this is where i let go' universe.No particular chronology or sequence, expect a lot of reaching.





	1. Chapter 1

Dongho's crying. So hard.

Jonghyun feels his own tears welling but now is not the time - they have to do a V-Live to thank the fans in a few minutes.

So he pulls the other man quickly aside.

"Hey. Hey. We did it. You did it."

Dongho's still choked up. Tears still streaming down, his eyes so red.

Even after everything, even after their wins last year, all the awards and appearances, Dongho had never really been...certain of himself.

There was always that worry in the back of their minds. What if...their success was a fluke? What if...their fans, after the Produce 101 hype died down...left, like they did before?

Everything they'd done after Produce, including Produce had been a risk. This new album was a risk, especially for Dongho. It was his baby, after all. Sure, Bumzu had an important hand in the album but this was a test - after their last attempts at making their own songs had flopped, it was a miracle Pledis was letting them do this again.

Dongho had barely slept - pushing himself so hard in the studio, in the gym. It wasn't that sad desperation they'd all endured during Produce but it still took a toll.

What else was there to say?  
  
At least, at least Jonghyun could do something a little differently now.

His hands, they were cupping Dongho's face to his. Quickly (before anyone saw) he kissed him softly, tasting the salty dampness of Dongho's tears. 

If only they had the time for him to kiss his tears away, but he could make up for that later.

"Come on," he let his hand move to grab Dongho's, interlacing their fingers.  
  
"LOVEs are waiting."

Dongho still couldn't speak, only managing to nod.

 _Good enough_ , he thought, as the two of them made their way to the dressing room where Aron and Minki waited, all smiles and ready.

It was going to be a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

No matter how nice the noonas are to him, Jonghyun doesn’t have the easiest time being the only male Pledis trainee.

”You’ll have friends soon, Jonghyun,” Raina tells him. He like Raina. She’s kind and sweet; all the After School noonas are, really.

(Though Kahi-noona scares him the tiniest bit, he tries not to let it show.)

Then Minki comes along and he feels as though finally he has a real friend. But Minki has his moods - times he’ll just disappear with no warning or be sullen and quiet one minute, but warm and friendly the next.

When Dongho joins them, well.

”Kim Jonghyun-ssi. Choi Minki-ssi.”

Seeing this much taller, much wider boy bowing to him and speaking so formally weirds Jonghyun out the tiniest bit.

Minki looks like a twig next to Dongho.

Yet it’s Minki who warms up to Dongho quickly, chattering at him enthusiastically while the other boy laughs in a high, tinkly laugh that seems odd coming from a boy so, well, big.

(Jonghyun thinks just one of Dongho’s thighs is wider than the both of his own legs put together)

Jonghyun, instead, finding himself treading carefully - especially after he sees the other boy with, of all things, a sword.

Minki is all wide-eyed, cooing when Dongho demonstrates a few kumdo sword moves.

Jonghyun? Jonghyun is _terrified_.

Dongho, as nice as he acts, is still bigger and so much stronger than Jonghyun - who, every night (when he remembers), prays _please please please let me grow taller_.

It’s nice, really,  having more of them during training - Dongho, for all his skill with a sword isn’t as quick at grasping choreography and is often sullen after being scolded for taking longer than the rest.

Of all of them, though, Dongho has the _best_ voice. Which makes Jonghyun feel even smaller next to him. 

Then a month passes and their managers say they can take a week’s break to visit their families. Jonghyun doesn’t have to fly, that’s a relief but Minki and Dongho are both going to the airport the next morning.

“Jonghyun..ah?” Dongho’s voice is small, hesitant. Nothing like the big hulking frame he posseses. 

“Anything you need?”

”Erm...are you going to be around the day I’m back from Jeju?”  
  
”The 16th? Yeah I’ll probably be at the dorm. Why?”

Dongho’s quiet and his face is turning the slightest bit red.

”I’m...could you, I mean, would it be OK if you waited for me at the airport? I’ve never taken the subway by myself.”

Taking the train was the cheapest, quickest way back. Cabs would be expensive and the jam would be awful anyway.

”Sure.” Jonghyun shrugged. “Just let me know when your plane arrives, and I’ll come get you, OK?”

Dongho’s smile is blinding.

”Thanks, Jonghyun-ah.”

It becomes a routine for them, for awhile - they’re still poor, unknown trainees after all and the managers are busy with the After School noonas.

Jonghyun finds taking the subway with Dongho can be fun - they don’t get bothered by troublesome people as Dongho can be pretty scary when he wants to be.

When it’s just the two of them, though, it’s casual, light talk. Mostly Dongho talking about the food he wants to eat or ate. And the food he’s brought back from Jeju to share with the other boys.

Dongho is bigger, stronger, but most importantly, he’s a friend. And that makes him feel warmer than even the thick stew Dongho’s mother’s packed for them all to eat. Together.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Being with Jonghyun means getting a case of whiplash ever so often.

Dongho should be used to it, to how Jonghyun can go from intense and driven one moment to winningly, disarmingly cute the next.

”It’s my birthday, why do I have to give you a present,” he’d joked when Jonghyun asked for a video of him saying that cheesy “I want to bite you” line.

Next thing he knew that ‘private’ video was now being circulated among the fans thanks to his traitor of a so-called boyfriend.

 _Boyfriend_. Jonghyun liked the sound of that word too. 

When he’d gotten home he’d saved Jonghyun’s room for last on his usual ‘good night’ routine.

He heard the faintest giggle when he turned the knob.

When he opened the door he was nearly bowled over by an over-enthusiastic Jonghyun, who somehow had manuevered him to the bed and was now kissing him very enthusiastically.

”If you think this is going to distract me from yelling at you...”

”Dongho-ya...it just felt selfish keeping that all to myself.” 

Jonghyun’s earnest, adorable expression was the killing blow.

What else could Dongho do but sigh?

”I really feel like biting you right now,” Dongho grumbled.

It made his breath catch a little - how quickly the look on Jonghyun’s face changed, how dark his eyes were.

Jonghyun’s voice was low now, saying just loud enough for Dongho to hear:

”I’m really hoping you would.”

Well, then. Bedtime was going to have to wait a few hours, Dongho thought. 

 _This is going to be interesting_. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

He wonders why it's taken him so long to notice - the pull that keeps him constantly in Dongho's orbit.

Never far, and yet not too close. Close enough to be right where Dongho needs him, when he needs him.

It doesn't strike him until he watches, almost in slow motion, as his arm shoots out without him even thinking, to steady Dongho.

_When did this happen?_

There used to be a time when Dongho would flinch a little, pull away for the tiniest moment before relenting.

It doesn't happen anymore.

"You don't have to be strong for us all the time, Jonghyun," Minki had said to him. Not once, but many times.

He knows that, deep down.

But it doesn't stop him from feeling, sometimes, as though he is the one who needs to be the anchor. To pull them all in close and never let them drift too far.

He remembers crying to himself ( _always alone, never around the others_ ) when the fear that everything Dongho  was going through would finally push him away.

How helpless he felt because there was nothing any of them could do, nothing any of them could say.

He couldn't save Dongho. He couldn't save the group.

Everything has changed now and yet, this one thing hasn't. His need to keep Dongho within reach, at his fingertips. Always.

It took Dongho awhile but now he feels that same tug, coming from Dongho now.

Dongho always lingers. His hand always coming up, every so often, just to brush Jonghyun's forearm. Stroke his back.

As if to make sure he was still there.

They've known each other so long Jonghyun can read the little touches for what they are. All the words that don't need to be said and yet hang between them in the stillness.

_I'm here._

_I'm not going anywhere._

_Stay with me._

 

 

 


End file.
